Jake and I left campus at 6:45 this morning to make it to the Cathedral for 7:00 Mass. It was really early, but I am really glad that I went and started Lent off on the right foot, at Church. I’ve never been to an Ash Wednesday service, but I found it really fulfilling. I poured out the prayers of my heart and I reflected upon the upcoming month and a half and what it means for me. Part of me is afraid that one day I will be sitting at Mass and will realize that I do not want to really do this. But everytime I go to Mass, the opposite happens, I want to be there more than I did the last time I went. God is really doing something special with the Catholic Church I guess.
I was also looking around the internets and found this really sweet conversion story of a Protestant woman becoming Catholic. You should check it out. She talks about her fear of becoming Catholic and her desperate desire in the beginning for a real solid Protestant refutation to Catholic Doctrine and beliefs so that she could justify not becoming Catholic. Obviously it never happened, so….she followed Christ into the Church. Again, check it out.
And I am officially logged off of Facebook. I kind of cheated though. One of my Bible Study kids, Matt, and I traded facebook passwords with each other and then went in and changed the other’s passwords so that if we are tempted, we cannot get onto our profiles. Regardless, though, of whether or not I just didn’t go on myself, or if I had someone change my password, the important thing is to dedicate more time to God. Which is what I am going to be doing these next 40 days.
It’s a very exciting time for me. We are about to enter Lent, the season of sacrifice and fasting, modeled after the 40 days that Christ spent fasting in the desert before being tempted by that wily demon, Satan. For us Catholics (or soon-to-be-Catholics) it is a time for us to sacrifice the things that mean a lot to us, or that we are addicted to, and spend more time in Scripture and in Prayer. This year I am giving up Facebook again because it honestly wastes hours of my day. I always have a facebook window open on my computer and check it constantly. Instead I could spend 10, 15, or 20 minutes more each day reading the Bible and praying. I am also giving up Oreo Cookie Pudding during Lent because everytime the dining center has it, I overindulge.
Lent is most exciting this year, though, because at the end of Lent I will be baptized and welcomed into full Communion with the Catholic Church. That is exciting and it is also very scary (in a non-threatening way, if that makes sense). So Lent is the real beginning of the countdown to my fellowship with the Catholic Church. Hallelujah!
I came across this article of a pretty sweet 12-year old.
Despite facing threats of disqualification, a 12-year-old girl took first place in a speech contest when she eloquently argued for the rights of unborn children – after an offended judge quit.
“What if I told you that right now, someone was choosing if you were going to live or die?” the seventh-grader begins in a video recording of her speech on YouTube. “What if I told you that this choice wasn’t based on what you could or couldn’t do, what you’d done in the past or what you would do in the future? And what if I told you, you could do nothing about it?”
The girl, a student at a Toronto school identified only as “Lia,” continued:
“Fellow students and teachers, thousands of children are right now in that very situation. Someone is choosing without even knowing them whether they are going to live or die.
“That someone is their mother. And that choice is abortion.”
But what made the 12-year-old choose to speak about abortion?
“It was really a family thing,” her mother explained on the blog Moral Outcry. “I saw Lou [Engle] speak at a conference several years ago. I came back to my family with the Life Bands, and we all wore them, made our covenant, and prayed the prayer for abortion to end. … We were invited to participate in a ‘Life Tape Siege.’ Once my kids heard of this invitation, they all agreed: ‘We have to do that!’ Since then, Lia’s passion for seeing abortion end has continued.”
Despite Lia’s enthusiasm for her topic, her teacher “strongly encouraged” her to select a different one for her class presentation or she would be considered ineligible for an upcoming speech contest.
“[S]everal teachers discouraged her from picking the topic of abortion; she was told it was ‘too big,’ ‘too mature’ and ‘too controversial,’” her mother wrote. “She was also told that if she went ahead with that topic, she would not be allowed to continue on in the speech competition.”
Lia’s mother continued, “Initially, I tried helping her find other topics to speak on, but, in the end, she was adamant. She just felt she wanted to continue with the topic of abortion. So she forfeited her chance to compete in order to speak on something she was passionate about.”
Lia’s teacher was so impressed by the speech that she allowed her student to advance as the winner. Lia presented her speech to judges in front of her entire school on Feb. 10.
The school principal and teachers called Lia’s presentation the “obvious winner” – but the judges suddenly disqualified her the following day “because of the topic and her position on abortion,” her mother said.
Lia’s father later revealed that the judges had a “big disagreement.” One was offended by the speech and voluntarily stepped down while the others reversed their earlier decision – declaring her the winner.
Now Lia plans to take her message of life to a regional speech competition, and more than 130,000 visitors have viewed her presentation online.
“Why do we think that just because a fetus can’t talk or do what we do, it isn’t a human being yet?” She asks in the video. “Some babies are born after only five months. Is this baby not human?
“We would never say that. Yet abortions are performed on 5-month-old fetuses all the time. Or do we only call them humans if they’re wanted?”
She continues, “No, fetuses are definitely humans – knit together in their mother’s womb by their wonderful Creator who knows them all by name.”
Went to daily Mass yesterday with Megan, Andy, and Josh. It was interesting, very different (well…not very different) from Sunday Mass. I’m still trying to get the hang of what to say sometimes during the Mass, but I suppose that will come with time, too. I liked the Mass and I like the fact that the Catholic Church has services every single day of the week. God isn’t just a Sunday thing like he is in other churches.
After Mass we went to Applebee’s with Josh and his wife, Tracy, and talked about him being my sponsor, amongst other conversation. He agreed and then we talked a little bit about how my friends have been taking the news and luckily I was able to tell him that it’s been a pretty postive experience, at least face-to-face. I don’t know what they are thinking or what they are saying behind my back, but let’s just pray that it is postive.
Well, it’s friday, and I am going out tonight because this whole weekend is going to be studying for three huge tests I have next week, so I am going to have fun tonight as opposed to the rest of this weekend. But, it is time for me to go join some of mis amigos at lunch now, so….sayonara!
I got to have really good conversations about being Catholic with a good friend and with one of the guys in my Bible study. I kind of suspected going into lunch that becoming Catholic would come up, and I was right, but it all turned out well. The typical questions that I expect about Mary and Purgatory came up and I feel like I have become pretty good at quickly defending them and dispelling misconceptions about these topics. But the important thing is that the conversations were really good, they were not full of conflict and my friends were supportive of my decision to become Catholic. This is becoming easier as time goes on.
O God, you are my God–
for you I long!
For you my body yearns;
for you my soul thirsts,
Like a land parched, lifeless,
and without water. So I look to you in the sanctuary to see your power and glory.
For your love is better than life;
my lips offer you worship!
I will bless you as long as I live;
I will lift up my hands,
calling on your name.
My soul shall savor the rich banquet of praise,
with joyous lips my mouth
shall honor you!
When I think of you upon my bed, through the night watches
I will recall
That you indeed are my help,
and in the shadow of your wings
I shout for joy. My soul clings fast to you;
your right hand upholds me.
So I came across this article from This Rock a Catholic magazine. The article is nearly 20 years old, but when I read it, I was just astounded. The author summed up pretty much everything I have been feeling when I compare the Catholic Church to the churches of the Protestant Reformation. The author takes a trip through the history of the Church: the 1500 years before the Reformation, and the 500 or so years since that time. For me, I am left without a doubt about Catholicism, but I would hope that it would cause everyone to really take a deep look and at least ask questions and open their hearts to at least understand Catholicism.
I turn to Romans, which is pretty much my favorite book of the Bible. In chapter 7, St. Paul talks about how he does not do what he wants to do, but does what he hates. I think that this is something that many of us understand well, or at least experience it quite often. This morning I was just reflecting on my sinful nature, and how I still continually fall into sin, even though my heart desperately desires to honor, love, obey, and follow Christ. I constantly ask myself what I can I do to kill the rebellion that lives in my heart. But I realized that perhaps I am asking the wrong question. Maybe I should ask, “how do I reconcile my love and my hate?” “How do I live with this rebellion while remaining faithful to God?” We have to be aware of our surroundings, for one thing. We have to always know what is going on, being aware of the influences on our hearts, souls, and fleshes. That is the only way we are going to know that sin is trying to strike us. We always have to pray without ceasing. And when we do fail, we have to be ready and humble enough to confess our failures to God. We have give it our all, we have to follow Christ to the the best of our abilities, to the point of death, sacrifice, and/or suffering. Even then, none of us will be worthy of the promises of Christ. We will have to rely on the grace, mercy, and love of our Father to make up for what we lack.
But we have to remember, and I think that this is really important, that this grace, which can cover a multitude of wrongs, should not be abused to the point where we do not put in an effore to live for God, because that is not love, the love that Jesus commanded us to have for God. Action, obedience, good deeds: they are not a reccomendation or a suggestion. They are a requirement for our faith. Our faith must break out of the secret rooms of our hearts, it must fall off our lips in more than just sound, but in action. If we are to be the light of the world, people need to see the light that is in us, not just take our word that it is there.
So I just finished reading the first part of the Catechism of the Catholic Church. If you remember, about three months ago I said some really nasty things to my friend Megan. Actually, I hid behind this blog to say them. I believe that I said something like, “Catholics are misguided; they are not real Christians; my friend believes that I will spend time in the imaginary land of purgatory,” and other things of that nature. It was mean, it was rude, and ironically, I was the one who was misguided. Lucky for me, Megan and her fiance are the best people I know and they did not stop being my friend and for that I am thankful. And unlike most other things I fight about, the Catholic Church has not ceased to be on my mind, almost constantly. And so one night I woke up knowing I needed to know and understand just what it was I was up against, what did Catholics really believe? And so for about two months now I have been soaking up the pages of the Catechism. I just finished the 1,065th paragraph which concludes the very in depth explanation of the Church’s Statement of Faith, also known as the Apostles’ and Nicene Creeds. The beginning of the section also goes on to describe how revelation has occurred to the church. Unlike the non-denominational teachings I have become accustomed to, the concept of sola scriptura does not exist. The Bible is not the only source of truth. This is not to say that books like the Koran are equally true, but to say that a lot of truth has been passed down in the church through tradition not written down in the Scripture. Look at it this way. The American Constitution. Our nation is founded on it. It however, does not provide absolutely everything it means to be an American, nor does it describe every aspect of our nation. The Scripture is the foundation of the Church, but it is not the end of truth, at least that is what the Catholic Church believes.
Of all the things that struck me as suprising was the church’s stance on evangelism. It wasn’t Mary or Purgatory, but evangelism. I have never really thought of the Catholic Church as evangelistic, but it really is. Paragraph 905 quotes this from the Apostolicam actuositatem:
This witness of life [the idea that our actions reflect Christ], however, is not the sole element in the apostolate, the true apostle is on the lookout for occasions of announcing Christ by word, either to unbelievers…or to the faithful.
Not only does the church stress a lifestyle of evangelism, but it stresses that the faithful need to be witnessed to just as unbelievers. I don’t know why, but it just suprised me so much and made me happy to read that. My deep desire is to share the gospel and I have had this misconception that that would be much harder to do, should I become Catholic, yet God answered my fear, much like he has been answering other stumbling blocks lately (Anna, Cru, etc….). I realized after reading the first part that much of what I already believe is found in the Church and the things that I haven’t beleived really do make sense and are not that far of a jump for me to make, should I choose too. Most of all I have seen God personally taking out the things I have been putting out in front of me, saying, “Look at this God, here is a reason that I can’t become Catholic. Maybe Anna won’t like me or what about my future job with Cru, can’t work for such an anti-Catholic organization and be Catholic.” Well God said, “Fine, Anna’s out of the picture, and so is Cru now. What else have you got? I want you to want me more than you want any of those other things!” What else can I do, but keep learning and prayerfully asking God what I should do next? I know that as I continue into learning about the Catholic faith I will come across more things that I will try to use as excuses, but I know that God will bust them down.
Reading the first part of the Catechism has been extremely awesome and I cannot wait to continue reading it and I would encourage everyone who has a riff with Catholicism to read it and stop throwing around a whole bunch of misconceptions.
So in the last 125 days since coming back from project, arguably the best summer of my life, a lot has happened. Now, lately I have been really upset with Cru, and unfortunately it has tainted my image of summer projects and even the summer project I went on myself. But I can’t deny that no matter what, God still used SDSP in a huge way in my life, taught me a lot, and by his own divine powers, began leading me through things I wouldn’t expect. For instance, how could I have ever thought that with a campus living overflow situation as dire as the one NDSU is experiencing, that God would have provided a way for me, someone with absolutely zero priority to live on campus again? Sadly, I have not taken this blessing very seriously, and I hope and pray that God will help me to take control and utilize it next semester. And what about my adamant antagony against the Catholic Church? I find myself three months later reading the Catechism and seriously contemplating becoming Catholic. You wouldn’t have expected that after going through a summer where the Catholic Church was considered to be heretic, and ex-Catholic project mates talked about leaving the Catholic Church to become real Christians.
God taught me a lot on project. Romans is a great book at making you feel like crap when you see your true self and then lifting you up to God and wiping your tears away. But there are just some passages that when looked at through a Cru lens just don’t make sense, and when you take away the Cru interpretation, and use, say, the Catholic Church, it falls into place. God taught me that while Cru can be great for firing people up and leading people into becoming more interested in Christ, it falls way short. Cru fires you up, but the fire always grows cold and fast. They are missing something. I couldn’t tell you exactly what that is, but it begins deep within in their doctrine. Whatever, I feel like I’m rambling on and on now.
But hey, I’m pretty pumped because in 21 days I am going to TCX and I will get to see some of my project friends for the first time in four and a half months and if God has taught me anything, it is that friends are really great and are to be cherished and I can’t wait to see them all again!