Why has it taken me so long you ask to get over it? Especially since I was the one that ended it?
I can’t answer that question. It just did. But I can tell you what has helped me get over it besides prayer. And that is the fact that I realized that it wasn’t that special. Maybe it was to me, but not to her. When I look at who has replaced me I realized that I was just someone who fit a very specific type. The two of us look similar, have the same hair color, we have similar personalities, we both enjoy doing the “cutesy” stuff like markering on each other’s arms, we wear the same clothes (I seriously gave him a bag of my old clothes at one point, and we have many of the same clothes in each other’s closets). When it comes down to it, I realize that I was easily replaceable in her life. I look at her current situation and I don’t see how she could miss me, because she pretty much has me. I feel like Pam when she is at Phyllis and Bob’s wedding realizing that everything about that wedding was the same as her wedding.
Whether any of this observation is true or not is unimportant. It is the observation that I needed to make it over that last hump of “not over it”. The last year and a half has been really draining, but this morning I woke up and I’m pretty sure that today is the first day of a new and better chapter.