We all carry crosses, crosses that we never asked to carry, but have been given to us nonetheless. Some of these crosses we share with others, like being impatient. Others we keep to ourselves, letting few to no souls see the burden that we bear, such as addiction. Often times these secret crosses define our behavior and our choices more deeply than the ones we freely share. These secret crosses are likely the greatest sources of our agonies, our fears, and our trials. These are the crosses we hate and we despise, the crosses we wish we didn’t have to bear, the crosses that if others knew about would cause them to be more compassionate towards us. These are the crosses that are often so painful that they are only between you and God.
But it is the cross that can cause the most pain that can also cause the most healing. The cross that brings you to the greatest sin, has the power to bring you to the greatest virtue. In it you find your greatest sorrow, but also you greatest joy. In the end when we are either cast into hell or invited into heaven, all things will be laid bare, and I believe that these secret crosses will finally be shared with all in God’s kingdom because the joy that will come from understanding the secret struggles that each of our brethren have gone through is going to be tremendous, the love that we will be poured out to a soul that is more victorious than we ever imagined is going to be so overwhelmingly warm and delicious. That thought encourages me to carry on.